


my first kiss went a lil' like this (um, really awkward)

by princepixel



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Team Dynamics, Team as Family, WHY IS NOMINREN SO SLEPT ON, i didnt tag them all but theyre all there trust me, ot18, slight mention of homophobia, the johnten is just implied srry, theyre really awkward lmaoooo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 18:05:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14117949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princepixel/pseuds/princepixel
Summary: “please don’t call me bro when i’m about to kiss you.” jungwoo says bluntly, leaning forward.





	my first kiss went a lil' like this (um, really awkward)

**Author's Note:**

> hi jungwoo and lucas crawled into my head and wouldn't get out also this story wrote itself in my head while i was in the shower at 4:30 am on a school night. yeah, senior year is going swell
> 
> (also thank u all for the overwhelmingly positive feedback on my last fic hjkdsfjkhs nctzens u the realest! <3 and a thicc thanks to my son @junghei for putting up with me texting him at 3 am with random plot points love u bb)

so, lucas has never kissed anyone.  
  
really. never.  
  
it would come as a surprise to most, because lucas is the one always throwing out dumb cheesy finger hearts and greasy winks on live streams. the heartthrob. the one thousands thirst over.  
  
but yeah, nope. never had his first kiss.  
  
he’s just. he’s never really had a fixation on kissing, or relationships, or crushes like his classmates. he’d had crushes here and there, of course, but there hadn’t been anyone he liked for a long time, and that was perfectly fine by him. he had plenty of stuff on his plate already. kissing honestly wasn’t a top priority when you’re trying to get into (and survive) one of the most brutal idol companies in the country.  
  
  
  
“you’re _eighteen_ , lucas,“ he whispers to himself, hand stretched to the ceiling, “what’s _wrong_ with you?”  
  
  
  
on a quiet night in the dorms, lucas whips out the good ol’ trusty google chrome incognito mode, and proceeds to search up some, “how to kiss” videos. it doesn’t go well. honestly, he doesn’t even know why he bothered searching it. maybe keying in “why am i eighteen and still haven’t had my first kiss?” would’ve yielded better results, but lucas isn’t sure he would actually want to see the results. plus, if anyone found his search history he’d have to quit SM and move countries and identities.

  
he slams the laptop lid shut and sighs, kicking off from the desk in his super cool spinny chair.  
  
he can’t ask the other members about this. _no way_. he’d never live it down, especially not with the kinds of lyrics the older members tend to put out. they’d never understand.  
  
(lucas physically suppresses a shudder as whiplash pops into his head. not today, ~~satan~~ um, taeyong.)  
  
  
he wants to try out this whole kissing business but there’s no one he can trust, except...  
  
except.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“jungwoo, have you ever kissed anyone?”  
  
jungwoo promptly falls off the bed.  
  
“dude, where did that come from?” jungwoo groans. he stays on the ground for a beat. slowly, a hand snakes out and steals another french fry from the box on the dresser. regaining his strength from the wonderful, crispy, delicious fry, he pushes himself up off the hardwood floor. “also, ow.”  
  
“i dunno…………….....becauseiveneverhadmyfirstkissandireallydontknowwhattodoaboutitandtheresnooneelseicantalkto.” lucas mumbles into his pillow.  
  
jungwoos eyes soften. he hauls himself back onto the bed where they were having their weekly bro video game/movie hangouts. totally bro time. it’s the best, trust them.  
  
he places a gentle hand on lucas’s shoulder. when lucas refuses to pick his face up out of the soft prison where he doesnt ever have to face the consequences of his fucking big mouth, jungwoo starts absentmindedly drawing circles into the other boy’s arm.  
  
“yeah, i have. you haven’t?” jungwoo questions.  
  
lucas lets out a pathetic groan-wheeze from pillow paradise. jungwoo isn’t really sure if he’s breathing, honestly.  
  
okay, this was a terrible idea. he should not have brought this up to his very much heterosexual best bro. his very heterosexual bro that was certainly not interested in kissing him. not at all. fuck.

 

jungwoo drags lucas upwards, the other boy refusing to meet his eye.  
  
“shit man, seriously?”  
  
“i just...trainee days were hard, you know that. no time, y’know?”  
  
jungwoo furrows his brows. it's true that there wasn’t a lot of time back then, but trainees were well known to experiment the most, considering those years were their last chance before they would be saddled with dating bans and the threat of scandals as full fledged idols. jungwoo himself had smooched around the trainee pool a fair bit, young and reckless and happy.  
  
“i just...okay yeah i just never have. kissed anyone, that is. and i don't want to, um... i don’t want to. do that. be that. anymore. yeah.” lucas stammers out, fiddling with the game controller nervously.  
  
a slow smile spreads on jungwoo’s face, and he tilts his head cutely to the side. “y’wanna kiss me?” he winks at lucas and nudges him playfully with his elbow.  
  
  
cool and suave lucas immediately whacks himself in the eye with the controller. smooth move, lucas.  
  
  
jungwoo winked at him. he honest to god _winked_ at him. who even does that? ~~and looks cute??? the—~~

  
“the disrespect.” mutters lucas in a strangled voice.  
  
“what?”  
  
“i dunno, something i picked up off twitter.”  
  
“hm.” lucas can hear the smile in jungwoo's voice, damn him.  
  
the two are quiet.  
  
“you didn’t answer my question.” says jungwoo blankly.  
  
  
lucas peeks through his fingers, silent.  
  
jungwoo's eyes widen. “oh— really? you...oh.”  
  
“no, i’m sorry, this is weird isn’t it....i just didn’t wanna be left out anymore and i couldn’t think of anyone else i trust to talk to about this and...” lucas squeezes his eyes shut, the kicked puppy look already affixed to his features.  
  
“i, um. i will, if you want me to.” jungwoo's throat bobs nervously.

  
“yeah. yeah, that’d be, uh. cool. real cool, bro.” lucas’s hands slowly unwind from the sheets.  
  
“please don’t call me bro when i’m about to kiss you.” jungwoo says bluntly, leaning forward.  
  
lucas screams (he really screams. god, lucas. you fool) and scuttles backwards on the bed like a crab.  
  
“n-now?”  
  
jungwoo nods sagely, his charisma and flirty charm easily slipping back to him. “yup,” he pops the ‘p’, “no time like the present, eh?”

lucas blushes furiously and sits up straight, sitting on his hands. he purses his lips and screws his eyes shut tight.

 

there’s a beat of silence. nothing happens.

 

lucas is staring into the abyss behind his eyelids and wondering how fast he can hire a hitman to eliminate himself, when jungwoo laughs.

 

lucas opens his eyes hesitantly to find jungwoo muffling giggles behind his sweater paws (his cute, cute sweater paws. _damn_ that jungwoo.) his cheeks are all bunched up, adorably sprinkled with pink. this close, lucas can clearly see the smattering of freckles crowning the bridge of jungwoo’s nose, and okay. that’s just unfair. how can one person be this _adorable_? leave some for the rest of us, god.

 

“i’m sorry, you just— you just look like you’re having stomach pains, or something,” jungwoo dissolves into laughter again.

 

lucas groan-sighs again. “please don’t make fun of my suffering.”

 

jungwoo reaches an arm out and begins to rub lucas’s shoulders. yes. very platonic. go jungwoo. “seriously, just relax. i won’t bite.”

 

he stops, and then backtracks a bit, chewing thoughtfully on his bottom lip, “well, i could. but i don’t think you’re ready for that. maybe next time.”

 

lucas can barely register the words, “ _next time_ ” before jungwoo’s lips are on his.

 

he quickly remembers to close his eyes, but is so focused on _not_ falling off the bed that he. sort of forgets to respond.

 

after a good few seconds without reciprocation, jungwoo pulls back, flinching as if burned. “um, you’re. supposed to kiss back...i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have just—“ he’s cut off as lucas lunges forward, recklessly crashing his lips against jungwoo’s.

 

it’s cute, in the end. sure, lucas still had his glasses on, which made things a little awkward and messy. and, yeah, their noses did get in the way of each other a bit. honestly, even if jungwoo did accidentally bite lucas’s lip (“hey! i thought you said no biting!” “yeah, but are you complaining?”) and lucas sort of forgot he was sitting on his hands so they fell asleep, (which was _really_ uncomfortable) it was sweet, and it was uniquely, clumsily, _them._

 

__________

 

 

 

the two break apart with matching grins and red tipped ears and pounding hearts.

 

lucas stares at jungwoo dreamily. he’s glowing in the pale orange light, practically shimmering (well, maybe that’s just lucas. the lights in the dorms are actually pretty shitty. lucas is also fairly certain there are stars in jungwoo’s eyes, and that’s _definitely_ not the dorm lighting). lucas’s heart squeezes, overflowing with emotion.

 

he really, _really_ likes jungwoo. fuck. like, in the way where he wants to hold his hand for hours and take him on dumb dates late at night and kiss him and just make him smile like that, always, always. he wants to give him the world, so sue him for being cheesy. (lucas has probably watched too many kdramas.)

 

fuck.

 

they sit there, breathing hard and staring at each other, blushing dumbly.

 

“well, there you go, casanova!” jungwoo props himself up and forces out a weak grin, settling for punching lucas ~~awkwardly~~ playfully on the shoulder. “i hope that helped, man. how do you feel? skilled and ready to kiss some pretty women?” he jokes, making some kissy noises. lucas misses the note of longing in jungwoo’s smooth voice and the bitter smile wringing his features. it’s gone as quickly as it appears.

 

lucas stills, staring down at his hands. his stomach drops.

 

_ready to kiss some pretty women?_

 

he had completely forgotten that his totally-homo crush is on his totally-no-homo best friend who not only thinks lucas is straight, but is also his _band member_  (in a society that isn’t very accepting of LGBT+ people to begin with) and lucas just kissed him. his straight crush. _platonically._

 

lucas flushes crimson like a goddamn idiot.

 

fuck, indeed. lucas was not supposed to catch feelings like this. bad lucas. jungwoo would never think of him the same way.

 

“....’cas?” anxiety washes over his face as jungwoo leans forward worriedly, reaching out to cup his cheek tenderly before hastily thinking better of it and drawing it back.  “was it, um… was it okay?”

 

lucas still doesn’t respond, mouth twisting in displeasure and fingers picking at the bedspread. he can’t even form words. what has he done?

 

_don’t fall harder, lucas. don’t do it. you’ll only get hurt. there’s no time for relationships as an idol._

 

jungwoo tenses. “i’m sorry if that crossed a line. i thought you wanted to...we can pretend it never happened, if you want. it doesn’t, um. it doesn’t mean anything. it doesn't have to.”

 

“we can— what? you want to just ignore that? did you not feel something?” despite knowing better, lucas can’t control his big mouth (as usual). he can’t help it— he knows jungwoo is straight, but...he did feel something. not as cheesy as sparks or fireworks or some shit, and sure, maybe it was just him being head over heels, but thinking about it, it felt that jungwoo had responded in a way that didn’t exactly fit the whole “i’m kissing my bff completely platonically because i’m a stellar friend and a good person” narrative. but...jungwoo was so willing to ignore it? ouch.

 

“i…” jungwoo looks startled.

 

lucas sighs and moves to get up. “sorry. i shouldn’t have asked all that of you.”

 

“wait!” jungwoo catches lucas by the wrist. “where are you going?”

 

“you don’t want this, right?”

 

“what do you mean?”

 

lucas motions between the two. “this. us.”

 

jungwoo tilts his head in confusion and lucas resists the urge (barely) to coo at him and run his fingers through his (probably really soft…) hair.

 

lucas flops down with a heavy sigh. it would probably be worse to not tell him. no need to drag things out and risk straining their relationship further, not to mention the dynamic in the band. then they’d really be sunk.

 

“i really like you, jungwoo.”

 

jungwoo is quiet for a moment, before his whole persona lights up.

 

“oh, thank god! and here i thought you were straight.”

 

wait, _what_?

 

“me— _straight_? dude, what are you on?” lucas exclaims.

 

“i don’t know??? you never really talked about it before, i just assumed you were straight…”

 

“oh my _goooood_. i thought _you_ were straight!”

 

“you think too much!”

 

they collapse into a heap of giggles on the bed. lucas and jungwoo, straight men? unbelievable. they were fools.

 

their laughter dies down after a moment and lucas clears his throat nervously. he clears it again. he’s about to clear it a third time when jungwoo nudges him pointedly. lucas’s eyes dart around the room, landing on anything that isn’t jungwoo (though he definitely would rather be staring into jungwoo’s beautiful, beautiful eyes and—).

 

“when you said...i thought that…when you said you wanted to just ignore all of it, i was so hurt. i thought you didn’t feel the same.”

 

jungwoo hums, twisting their fingers together. he runs his other hand over lucas’s cheek. “well, i do.”

 

lucas smiles from ear to ear, but jungwoo’s face tightens slightly.

 

“what about the other members, though?...what about SM? you know how harsh they are.”

 

“SM treats us pretty well. plus, if there was a problem, i’m sure the rest of the guys would have our backs.”

 

“are you sure? you know how the climate is in korea for this sort of thing.”

 

“jungwoo, jungwoo, jungwoo,” lucas bumps their shoulders together affectionately. “now who’s thinking too much?” he teases with a fond grin, “have you not seen our group? ten is busting out dick jokes every other vlive and yuta will literally not shut _up_ about how he’s a top, not to mention _whiplash_??? taeyong’s a whole sub and that’s just the truth. i’m sure we won’t have any problems with them, and if we do, i’ll do anything to fix it. for you. i’m not letting this go.” he gestures to their joined hands, legs tangling up together.

 

jungwoo beams. “you’re right. taeyong _is_ a sub.”

 

lucas wheezes and bats jungwoo’s hand away. “that’s the part you pick out? not the whole, i’ll go to the ends of the world with you thing? man, i thought it was a good speech. real empowering. i could be a public speaker.”

 

“lucas, literally shut up, thanks.”

 

lucas grins. “boyfriends?”

 

“boyfriends.”

 

“hell yeah!” lucas tackles jungwoo into a great bear hug.

 

“now i can do this all the time!” he grins proudly, landing smooches on every available inch of jungwoo’s face, from the tip of his nose to his eyelids to, yeah, his lips. jungwoo’s laughter rings clear as a bell and it’s the most beautiful melody lucas has ever heard (well, except for we young. god, nct dream are the fucking coolest).

 

 

__________

 

someone knocks at the door.

 

“lucas?” it’s kun. “we’re gonna have a movie night, the dream kids are coming.” lucas visibly brightens. hell yeah. he loves the dreamies.

 

“what are we watching?” he yells back.

 

“ _mulan_!” responds kun enthusiastically. no one can resist mulan.

 

“be right there.” lucas grins, swooping back down to jungwoo.

__________

 

 

 

It’s nearing midnight. members are strewn across every available space in the room as the ending credits of mulan flicker on the tv.

 

“ahh, it's late, i’m going to head to bed,” renjun yawns and kisses jeno and jaemin square on the lips, “night night~”  
  
he slinks off the couch where he had been laying sprawled across the two, stretching luxuriously. from the other side of the couch, yuta’s jaw drops.  
  
johnny stares at the trio in surprise and makes a strangled, questioning noise, almost like what “?!!?!!?????” would sound like out loud.  
  
“is this, uh. is this a habit for you guys?” taeyong asks the bunch. he looks sideways at mark and donghyuck, hoping to see some explanation from the two who share a dorm with them. both of them look completely unfazed, almost bored, and shrug noncommittally.  
  
“what, ‘ya never kiss your bros?” jaemin drawls sleepily.  
  
johnny splutters, “uh, no??? i don’t???”  
  
ten coughs.  
  
“um, platonically. i don't kiss on the lips platonically. usually.” he amends hastily, looking around to the rest of the members for support, “who does that?”  
  
jungwoo and lucas shift uncomfortably.  
  
“shame,” says jeno airily, “it’s real nice.”  
  
the three sit in silence for a few beats before jaemin’s eyes widen comically, looking between jeno and renjun with a little gasp. “oh, shit. dude, are we dating?”  
  
jeno shrugs sleepily. “i guess? i mean, sure. if you guys are down i’m down.”  
  
“cool,” renjun grins, “blanket fort in my room, then!”  
  
the three snag their respective blankets from the couch and shuffle off into one of the rooms with linked arms, leaving the other members to sit quietly.  
  
there’s a second of peace before sicheng voices the worry they all share, “you know, SM is going to have something to say about this.”

 

“SM can kiss my ass,” decides jaehyun, “we’ll do whatever it takes to protect them.”

 

lucas and jungwoo share a relieved smile at the confirmed support.

 

“yeah, if they are happy and healthy, SM should leave them alone. if they don’t, we’ll deal with it. that would be fucked up, anyways. they’re just kids.” ten says fiercely.

 

“wack,” agrees chenle, trying to sound cool.

 

“but, are they- are they gonna be able to handle this? a polyamorous relationship, and so young? what if they get hurt? what if-“ doyoung mumbles wretchedly into his hands, “i mean, i’m happy for them, don’t get me wrong, but _really_ —“  
  
“it’ll be okay. if they have problems, they’ll come to us,” taeyong switches between rubbing doyoung’s back and cracking his knuckles threateningly as he adds under his breath, “at least, they _better_ .”  
  
taeyong was about as intimidating as a kitten with eyebrows drawn on, but he was right. if there were any issues, anything at all, they would solve them as a team.

 

 

  
  
and under the cover of the blankets, jungwoo takes lucas’s hand.

 

 

 

 

 

  
(bonus:

 

“everyone, jungwoo and i have an announcement to make.” lucas says bravely (sort of), facing the crowd of faces. no, it wasn’t the fans. it was just the members. there are a lot of them, ha ha hooooly shit. jungwoo peeks out over lucas’s shoulder nervously.

 

lucas winds a hand around jungwoo’s wrist, then links their fingers and brings their joined hands up to display to the audience.

 

“we’re dating.”

 

there is silence. after a short processing time, someone shouts, “we been knew!”

 

“yeah,” says taeil, “weren’t you guys dating, like, four months ago?”

 

the pair look at each other in shock, “um?? no???”

 

“huh. could’ve fooled me.” remarks sicheng.

 

jungwoo and lucas share sighs of relief, turning to each other. jungwoo's hand grips lucas’s shoulder tightly, and he leans in for a solid smooch. lucas has sure been getting better.

 

“hey! i’m happy for you guys, but not in front of the baby!” yells taeyong indignantly, covering jisung’s eyes.

 

jisung would normally protest at being called the baby, but he’s so sick of the pair’s shenanigans (he's been sandwiched between them flirting on livestreams for _months_ now) that he can’t really complain.

 

jungwoo cups lucas’s face lovingly. jisung thinks he’s gonna hurl.

 

“oh, get a room, you two sappy, sappy fucks.” scolds johnny playfully.

 

“gladly.”)

**Author's Note:**

> pix dont mention fries in every fic challenge failed
> 
> i counted at the end and by some complete miracle i had included everyone! fuck yeah. i love them all so much.
> 
> anyways! id be super happy if youd drop a comment ! lemme know if theres anything i can fix/improve on. if the kiss scene seems wack its bc i, too, have never kissed anyone and my entire knowledge on the subject is confined to fanfic and some teen novels i read in middle school ok thx
> 
> also: for WHY is jeno/jaemin/renjun so underrated.....my friends my pals my fellow nctzens it is the Perfect ship....the harmonious solution to all the ship wars.......the perfect resolution for nct dream pairs. pls. love them. that is all thank u for coming to my ted talk i love u all smooch smooch
> 
> twitter: pixeljunnie  
> curiouscat: pixinoa  
> tellonym: diotima


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